Wise Words from Shaman Arman D. Hammer8

7:31 PM me: BABY
i tried to talk to you earlier and you signed off on me
7:32 PM armandhammer8: lol, Microsoft took over my computer
me: shit
did you get the blue screen?
7:33 PM armandhammer8: my mouse was being moved by the hand of god
me: omg!!!
7:34 PM does this mean microsoft is god's brand?
armandhammer8: no just that microsoft created the universe
me: ooooooooooooooooohhhh
7:35 PM microsoft created the universe where everyone was to live in bliss
7:36 PM armandhammer8: hahahaha
you've been promised bliss
and virgins
but mostly bliss
me: lolz
the world does not look like bliss
7:37 PM armandhammer8: bliss is the heaven you reach though your personal acceptance of microsoft windows into your heart
7:38 PM me: are you in bliss rite now?
7:39 PM armandhammer8: one does not so much enter bliss, as look upon it through a computer screen
7:40 PM me: the temptation!
7:41 PM armandhammer8: In bliss, man becomes an arrow of freedom
me: an arrow aimed at the endless horizon
7:43 PM armandhammer8: They say when one window closes against your will, an error window with retrospective solutions opens
7:44 PM fate, is a logarithmic function of the windows operating system
me: whoa
7:45 PM all the options!
7:46 PM endless
7:47 PM armandhammer8: sometimes god becomes concerned that you are moving through life too quickly, and slows down your machine to bring greater harmony to your life.
7:48 PM me: the ancient ram!
7:49 PM which symbolizes
power, force, drive, and energy
7:51 PM armandhammer8: what you just described is the sacred covenant of Windows 3.1
the .1 being energy
me: so that's what it all means?
armandhammer8: which is essentially a synonym of the other three
7:52 PM now please, I don't want my bliss friends to know I'm conversing consumer of the forbidden fruit
7:53 PM me: hahaha
7:54 PM you should start controlling your panel
armandhammer8: my panel is under control heathen, can you even find yours?
7:55 PM me: convert me oh wise 1!
armandhammer8: repeat after me
you're getting
7:56 PM me: dude
armandhammer8: okay,
this religion is a lot like scientology
me: what do you mean?
7:57 PM armandhammer8: in that to advance to the next level you much purchase the necessary material, in this case the said dell
me: ahhhhhh
armandhammer8: we try to weed out the poor people and those who aren't living off their parent
7:58 PM me: do you take credit card?
armandhammer8: we prefer paypal
or better yet a life time commitment follow by a blood bond
7:59 PM me: i think you mean a life time warranty
for 50 dollars extra
armandhammer8: that's what you apple users call it
me: is it the best buy?
8:00 PM armandhammer8: ooo holy best buy
the non-denominational chapel of equality!!!
8:02 PM me: oh the way it emits holy light from the lcds
armandhammer8: the and lord's hand commeth and grasp my machine out of my hands!!!
see you in blisssssssssss
8:03 PM me: god bless you

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